Mother Teresa once said, “Love is the net by which you catch souls.” Like I texted my woman this morning, to me this means that what matters in love is joy. That is, it is not being in love that matters, rather, what matters is being happy being in love. Yesterday I told my woman of a certain somebody who caught me severally with other women. She was in love with me, so condoned my errant ways. My woman said she would’ve left me if it happened twice. This is enigmatic. Love means forgiving, even the Bible says that. But it is one thing to forgive, and something totally differen
t to forget.
So, whereas I was forgiven on more than six occasions, I don’t believe those experiences were ever forgotten, and while they may not have been referred to often, I believe they would have been current in her mind. Should she have left like my woman emphatically stated? I would have left me. For what is not really forgotten is not the infidelity but the fact that I’d constantly think I wasn’t good enough. Why would I think this? Because consciously, something is missing. Whereas no two lovers love each other the same way, to be happy, two lovers must love themselves. Why? If they love each other, even at diffeent levels, they will find contentment in each other. If they find contentment in each other, even if they are both not perfect, they will find no need for something less than what they have, and will not be interested in finding out if there is something better. They will not seek individual improvement, they will seek combined improvement.
If my woman carries out her threat, she would be correct to do so, after all, she would have given me the benefit of the (first) doubt. She would also have been correct because staying would mean not being happy, not being happy because she would know I think she is not sufficient. I have since changed my ways. I have found love. Not the woman, but I have found love. I have reached within me and found the duality for so long untapped. This discovery has brought me to the realization of what so many felt being with me, when I could not give back any fraction of what they gave. This discovery has brought me joy, joy that is embodied in the way my woman relates to me and I relate with her. I feel loved, and I am now capable of loving back. This is the net – joy. The joy I feel right now will not accommodate the contemplation of my past phillistinism. Love (the net) has caught my soul, and when you find joy, you don’t want to be unhappy, and if you don’t want to be unhappy, you must cherish, and protect what makes you happy. The first step is recognizing that though we are imperfect as individuals, it is my/your duty to make you/me perfect for us – for you, after all, are my joy.
Copyright © Fani-Kayode Omoregie 2015