inspired by a true event

Voice: “we are unable to retrieve your information. to speak to a consultant please dial zero or press star to cancel or exit (dial tone. pause) please hold for one of our costumer service consultants.”
advert about ‘my social’ … then. 

“hi, this is the (static) call center. this is tumelo speaking. how may i help you?”
“i just loaded my iPad with 800 megabytes of data but i cannot access the internet or my mailbox”

“may i know who i am talking to?”

“omoregie.”

“how may i help you mr omejie (laughing) eish! how do you pronounce your name?”

“never mind,”

“so how may  i help you mr omejerie?” (laughs).

“i just loaded my iPad with 800 megabytes of data but i cannot access the internet or my mailbox.”

“what phone are you using?”

“an ipad”

“a what?”

“ipad  (spelling) I P A D.”

“is that an android handset?”

“never mind.”

“i beg your pardon?”

“i said ‘never mind’. now can you please help me sort out the internet issue?”

“is it the phone you’re calling on now?”

“no. the number in the ipad is 76665310”

silence

“everything looks ok on this side. but i am gonna reset the internet settings. you switch off the phone, take out the battery -“

“apple products don’t have removable batteries.”

“oh!”

silence

“hello sir, are you still there?”

“yea. never mind. the internet just started working.”

F-K 2016