i believe what makes you special is not who loves you, but who and what you love. this post is dedicated to a woman (nani) who has come to represent the truism in the belief that you can truly not know your own beauty or self-worth until it is reflected back to you in the mirror that is another caring, loving, human being – a soul mate. victor hugo says, “the supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves – say rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” for, to be seen at your most vulnerable by another and still be loved anyhow – is a human gift that borders on the bizarre. as we go through the hazy meadow of love, we are on a quest to find that special person who is right for us. but if you have traipsed on this meadow long enough you begin to wonder if there’s anyone right for you, you begin to believe those who inhabit this meadow are, like excessive sugar and salt to a renal patient, simply different flavors of wrong. no one ever stops while wandering this meadow to contemplate their own wrongness, or that they consequently seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. everyone thinks a soul mate should be a perfect fit, but have you ever stopped to think a soul mate shouldn’t be your perfect fit? a true soul mate should be like a mirror, reflecting back to you everything that is holding you back. a soul mate should be the person who brings you to your own realization so you can alter your life. a true soul mate is the most important person you’ll ever meet, because a true soul mate tears down your walls and drags you from your delusional reverie. why? each of us have our own wrongness, a wrongness that takes a lot of living to grow fully used to and understand. and it isn’t until you finally confront your deepest demons, your recurring problems – the ones that make you truly who you are – that you’re ready to find a lifelong meadow (soul) mate. celine dion sang, “when the wrong one loves you right,” many decades later, mary j. blige reiterated this message in her song, “me and mr. wrong.” both are correct. for until you meet the one who truly makes you feel who you truly are, you will not know or find what you’re looking for. so, what we all who trespass the meadow called love should be looking for is the wrong person. i mean, not just any wrong person, but the right wrong person – someone you look at lovingly and think, “i want to have this problem with me for life.” you have got to find a soul mate who is wrong for you in just the right way, or you may roam forever in the meadow of love, loveless.

 

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