“there’s something i need to discuss with you.”

            “about.”

            “about us.”

             “now?”

              “no.”

              “alright. we’ll talk when i get home.” he picks up the phone stares at it, his jaws tightening, then he throws the phone on the desk, the action pulls the earphones out of his ears – he puts them back. he looks across at the sheets of mock-ups littering his desk – his heart ticking in his throat. he picks up the can of diet coke that came with breakfast and takes a swig of the remnants of the can letting the mellow spice with citrus and vanilla hustle in his mouth. he has been anticipating this call, but now that it has come, he didn’t know how to rationalize it. the distinctions between discussion and dialogue fascinates him – it fascinates him that people prefer discussion over dialogue, but “i suppose that’s why arguments between people are sometimes never resolved,” he muses. how can it, when you premise it by saying “can we discuss this?” or “i’ll like to talk you,” why didn’t she say “can we have a dialogue?” … he picks up his phone and types a reminder “get myself new perfume” … cinnamon reminds him too much of the day he received it from her … but then it sounds very awkward when you say “can we have a dialogue?” … he picks up a cd containing the graphics he has been working on, slides it into a yellow envelope – writes “ready for printing” on the back … funny how language or activities or graphics meant to encourage peace always sound or seem awkward – a united nations peacekeeping army with blue helmets – protecting the brains and leaving the hands free to kill to ‘keep peace’ … a national anthem sung either in a master’s language or a language that is not all embracing. that’s why the spanish national anthem fascinates him – it has no words … he adjusts his headphones and ravel’s bolero serenades his ears. “there’s something i need to discuss with you”… a discussion – a word with a root that rhymes with concussion – a word that aligns with making unconscious through contusion … “there’s something i need to discuss with you”… always, too much analysis and breaking down of things … “there’s something i need to discuss with you”… too many opinions flying around … “there’s something i need to discuss with you”… why not dialogue – something meant for evolving “some new understanding … something creative … something that yields shared meanings that ‘glue’ or ‘cement’ people together?” he packs his backpack, squeezes and throws the empty can of diet coke in the trash-can, switches off the lights and heads home.

            “i thought we are having a discussion?”

            “we are.”

            “then why are you wearing a helmet and combat gear?”

fkregie 2016.